The Connection

Love makes a connection

Like the river your eyes run right through me

Unable to trust these feelings when we are miles apart

I look to the sun as you beam rays into my heart

Words escape me as crystal raindrops touch your skin

Making for the perfect quiet storm 'til morning

I hear the way you gaze at me

When our two souls collide

For you, the very best I've got

I've found you to be my favorite song

I take pleasure in following your melody

Your hands have suggestions plenty

Love makes a connection

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Too Much The Same, Too Late To Change, Pain

For so long we chose to wait

Thirty years 

You unlocked the gate

I played my hand at love 

A full house I thought we had

Instead you decided to fold
Not once saying it was too late

The love we shared 
We craved insatiably 
Our storms of passion
Felt just like home

With every embrace, every glance 
With every moan.

At night when I close my eyes

 I can not stand the sight 
A vacancy,

You not being in my life.
Life consumed by time
I found I was blind
To the truth
Wondering if she loves and wants you 
With the pain I do.

The rain now stings my eyes

 Stained with red and open wide

You will see I'm broken,
Though taking all things in stride.

You left me to drown 

As the seasons changed

From the sounds of winter

To the summer snow.
Preyed upon by the hunter
There was no way to know.

We were too much the same
Not willing to change
I walk lazily,
Where the butterflies rest easily,
We were too much the same
No one to blame.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay - Random Thoughts

Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, Watching the tide roll away. 

Popular Lyrics from Otis Redding.

My days off are oftentimes spent on the cliffs overlooking the bay and the boardwalk at the river's edge. 

"Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay" , I had this song on vinyl as a child.  Never really understood the meaning then. 

A melancholy piece.

 I find it amusing as I sit in the morning sun.

You will find me sitting when the evening comes. 

  I sit with my purple pen and journal, enjoying the beauty of life. 

I am captivated by the ripples as the sun hits off of the liquid gold shining like diamonds. Every movement has a story carried out to sea. These same stories re-emerge only during the storm while the rocks sit silently chilled by the gossip of the taunting tide.  

~~~Skin I'm In~~~ 

All That's Real And Lasting

The Sounds Of Life

Birds chirping, Leaves Rustling

Footsteps of Passersby

Sights And Sounds Of Laughter

Memories.....

All That's Real And Lasting

~~~ Skin I'm In~~~

Sunday Morning Muse

While I have scrolled through the Facebook News Feed throughout the week, there is a common theme.

Posts regarding politics, racism, equality, etc.  Questions formulated like “What are you doing to combat violence and racism in your community?”, so forth and so on.

It’s a valid question; however do your answers suggest a solution or additional problems? Or better yet are your answers nothing but fluff?

We speak of how our police officers are here to protect and serve, not kill and serve up on a platter.

We speak of how we are disrespected amongst our peers, being called out of our names, etc.

We speak of how we can’t catch a break because the other man or woman keeps bringing us down.

The list is ongoing. 

Let me ask this, When do WE take ownership in our own actions???  When do we CHANGE our REACTIONS into positive ACTIONS??? 

Observation #1  Those becoming agitated that you are often disrespected are the very same ones posting videos of children and adults TWERKING, thinking its cute. Those posting videos of teenagers, etc. fighting...with the Movie FRIDAY response “You Got Knocked the F@(k Out!"

Observation#2  We still use derogatory terms within our conversations in reference to other races. Yes I’m going to make it real for you.  We use the word Nigga,  Niglet, Cracker, Gringo,  Sambo,  Colored, Towel  Head, Sand Nigger,  Jap,  Chink, Boonga  and Chug just to name a few.  So when you see these names in print I’m sure it angers you.   Take one giant leap and eliminate these from your  vocabulary.  In doing so you are leading by example and perhaps others will follow your POSITIVE LEAD.  And by others, even if it is ONE person that embraces your positive force, that is one difference made that can lead to more.

Observation#3 Our Youth lack respect in themselves and those in authoritative positions.  Again don’t blame others take ownership.  As parents we oftentimes do not take time out with our children as a result of work and financial distress.  Instead of sitting and having a conversation with our children about how things are affecting them, what did they learn in school, etc. We would rather buy them a video game, etc. to pacify them for the lack of time spent.  Instead of providing some structure and morals we push them off on others to do the job WE are meant to do.  I can go on and on with this one, but I will cut it short. So when our youth are caught up in the unrest, be mindful unless you are up close and personal, you do not know the full picture.  

Please keep in mind these senseless killings are nothing new nor do I condone them. However; the only thing new about them is the technology used to publicize them.  Instead of a blurb in the far right corner of the metro section of the news paper, videos are televised.  So if you want things to change...start by NOT FEEDING THE STEREOTYPE. Perhaps I am playing devils advocate with this, but it is what it is.  Two wrongs don't make a right and not everyone is innocent. 

If this Sunday Muse has annoyed you, then hopefully in some way it has provoked thoughtful solutions not fluff.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Shades Of Delight

Shades Of Delight

Cocoa Hue

Drifting Face To Face

My Eyes Led By Sweet Thoughts

Guided My Heart

Back To You

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Please and Thank You

Growing up I was taught to say HELLO when you entered a room.  PLEASE and THANK YOU, EXCUSE ME when you belched, burped or expelled gas. MAY I when you asked for things.  You did not interrupt anyone when they were on the telephone, you were taught to hold the door open for others and of course RESPECT YOUR ELDERS and YOURSELF.

What has happened to the core values?  Where is our moral compass?  
We have men and women walking around with their pants at their crotch and their underwear showing...oh, but wait...let me rephrase for those that may read this and not truly feel me.  You are walking around with yo pants hangin' off yo ass and yo drawz (drawers) showing!! Hell even when I'm trying to make a point I still have to write things somewhat proper. What is the significance in the pants at your crotch?  Oh I guess that is your SWAG....Senseless Weak And Gullible!! 

We seem to have a conflict between decent moral behavior and social impotence. I've noticed an influx of rudeness from the millennial generation as well as some of the baby boomers. Too many parents trying to be a friend to their children instead of A Parent. Be a parent first, instill the core values along with discipline.  Teach them to articulate or at least form complete sentences, take them to the library or provide them with a book and actually read it instead of playing video games.  Reading Is Fundamental!! With the core values and good morals comes politeness.  A behavior that seems to be cast by the wayside.  

For the baby boomers, quit acting as though the world owes you everything!! This sense of entitlement you think you have will get you hurt.  Try baby steps to rectify the disconnect..

When someone says 'HELLO' to you, just respond with 'Hello'. No one is requesting you to stop, drop everything and indulge in a Larry King Episode. Just 'Hello'.  Just be polite respect yourself, others and carry on. Please and Thank You!!!!

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Summer Rain

Listening To The Sound Of The Rain

As It Taps On The Window Pane

The Thunder Roars

Sounding Off, Its Authority Known

Painstakingly Deliberate

So Chilling It Soothes

Every Drip Every Drop

As I Lift My Eyes

Every Beat 

In Sync With My Heart

I'm  Hypnotized

Summer Rain, Summer Breeze

Cover Me Slowly 

Embrace Me Totally

Carry Me Away 

To My Fantasy 

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Poetry #2

Poetry, a language all its own, 

distilled or fermented like a fine wine, 

Powerful!

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Freedom

Freedom - The state of being free.  The right to enjoy all the privileges; exemption from external control , regulation or interference . 

We live in a country where we come and go as we please.  Without the constant fear of militants bombing our homes.  We travel at ease on organized highways attending school functions, shopping and dining out without a care in the world.-Freedom.

As we ponder upon the privileges we have do we truly examine our walk of life?  On an individual level freedom is a 'choice' to enjoy life as we know it.  Though we have choices some are shackled by fear, the internal control; therefore freedom becomes non-existent.  

Slaves to love
Slaves to economic grief
Slaves to corporate America
Slaves to peer pressure
Slaves to our own inner struggles

Paralyzed by the fear of losing love, repercussions of speaking out against that which is wrong....paralyzed by hurt and despair.   

Random thoughts - Are we TRULY Free?

~~~Skin I'm In~~~  

Trust - The Broken Link

Trust is like a broken fence. If you look hard enough you still see the link. Although it has been repaired it still bares the kink. The kink in the link which brings hesitation in how we think. 

~ ~ ~ Skin I'm In ~ ~ ~

Poetry

You comfort me

You embrace me

You sing to me

You encourage me

When emotions and action's of those have shackled me

You step in and release me

You accept me

You invite me

Into your heart, your home

Known as poetry.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

You Don't See Me

As A Child

I Shed My Skin

Beautiful Young Lady

Emptied My Soul 

Skin Bare 

For All To See

I Followed My Heart

Gave You My All 

It's Unfortunate 

You Still Don't See Me

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Redefining Love

Love, not just an emotion but an action.  

The lyrics of Whodini ...say it well, ' You got to want it as well as you need it!!!' 

Many have acknowledged the word to be used loosely.  But do nothing to re-define love. How did we get to this point?

Love is an atmosphere shared and felt when one has left the other's presence.  It's how you are remembered.  The memory makes chasing pavement in the effort to bring the nights of pleasure back sooner, when one is away, so worth the while.  

To follow the curve of one's face as the fire and energy are ignited, love.

Food for thought, If you give away all you possess to the poor but possess no love, your efforts are meaningless..what have you gained but an empty house?  If you speak in the tongue of the angelic ones and possess no love, you are but like a changing gong.  Same chime different time.  

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Time, Love, Missing You

Thirty One Days, 

Three Hours, 

Twenty Seven Minutes & Counting

 Since The Last Kiss,

 Last Embrace, 

Last Time I Caught The Scent Of Your Skin

 The Last Glance 

Inciting Me To Chorus

My Heart Creates Tears

Missing You

 As My Soul Bleeds From Thirst

 Deeply In Love 

With You!

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Do Unto Others

In our lifetime we often encounter women who struggle with weight, health issues, low self-esteem and depression. As women, in relationships or not, these obstacles may create a need for their self worth to be validated.  For women this seems to be a commonality; however how often is it acknowledged that men struggle with the very same issues?  

Men struggle with weight. Their youth has exited stage left 15- 20 years ago and the body builder body they worked so hard to obtain is now obsolete.  The sleek runners body has run its course.  These very simple issues may cause low self-esteem, depression and poor sexual performance.  No this is not Dr. Ruth, Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz it's just Angela.  Exposed to a number of life experiences and served as a sounding board for many.  

As women, do we communicate with our men to ascertain what may be troubling them? Are we even in tune with them as we should be?  Do we provide support in their efforts to gain a healthier lifestyle or do we add to the detriment of their lives?  Just like the family that prays together, stays together.  The family that works out together....WORKS OUT TOGETHER!!! Do we, offer unconditionally, the same support to them as we expect them to provide to us?  Let's be honest, we are not as supportive as we should be. Unfortunately we can tear a man's esteem down viciously without thought. Sometimes it is done by silence.  Lack of communication is a silent killer. 

This is not to take away from a man's masculinity.  It is to acknowledge that you are not alone.  We are here to uplift not down shift and push you off a cliff. 

~~~Skin I'm In~~~ 

Reciprocity - Random Thoughts

I am one that attempts to exhibit  a positive attitude most of the time.  However one must be realistic.  There are times when we are quite pessimistic no matter how hard we try to be that ray of sunshine.  We are human, I am human.

This post is one of self counseling if that makes the least bit of sense.  
It's difficult to admit when your efforts of love and friendship are going nowhere.  You find yourself feeling as though you are an irritant to those you expect to reciprocate the same thoughts and feelings that you exhibit.  Through many months or years if you allow it to go on that long you establish finally, to coin a phrase, "They're just not that into you."
 
Admitting these efforts are futile does not go without pain. Confronting others regarding your efforts and the lack of theirs seems to fall upon deaf ears. Really they owe you absolutely nothing outside of respect. So why waste your breath on confrontation.  

It is necessary to break the cycle of contact. The act of initiating the communication whether it be via face to face, phone call, text, email, letter (obsolete) or social media.  We can no longer be a slave to the rhythm. As the efforts put forth should not result in one waiting around to hear from the other.   

Randomness..

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Shadow of My Smile

 Loyalty Once Lived

Back In The Day

 Things Were Cool

My Soul Flower

Take Me Flying With You

Thick Scars

Life's Battles

Embrace It's Captive Audience

My Soul

Shadows Always Follow

Pretending To Be

Someone Else

Escaping The Experience

 Fallen Victim To Amnesia

Trembling Like A Flower

Dancing To The Blues

In The Shadow of My Smile

To Pretend to Be Someone Else

I Wouldn't Have Grown To Be Me

Grievances And Shadows

Will No Longer Spoil My Eyes

Preventing This Flower

From Flying High

 ~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Lauryn Hill - Ex-Factor----Who Do I Have To Be To Gain Reciprocity???

Defenseless

Defenseless

Nothing really left to say

Captured by my own thirst

To experience a love unknown

  Shackled by confusion

 

Hear me when I say

No more to be led to what is thought to be

  The point of no return

  In your secret garden

 

  Never too proud to beg

  Never wanted to be blinded by the uncertainty 

Procured by your mystery

My spirit embraces the intellect

  As it escapes your lips

  Placing shackles on my heart

 

Smitten by the warmth your soul flaunts

Yet unable to translate the emotions

Until the sum of all my fears

Strikes a hearty blow

When no longer a part of you

 

Patiently waiting for an invitation

To hear you play the sound of midnight

Often leaves the question

 Give you my devotion

Remaining defenseless or leave

Allowing the tears

To refresh your memory when someone else

Breaks your heart

 

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Knowing Me

Do you know where I come from

Or where I want to go?

Do you know where my happiness lies

Or what touches my soul?

Do you know what shields me

Or what makes me defenseless?

Do you know how bright my heart shines

Or what peaks my interest?

Do you know how I love thee

Or how to satisfy?
Do you know how to love me

Or should tears I cry?

Knowing you is knowing me.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Sail Alone

Like The Air I Breathe

You Will Always Be There

The Wings I Need

To Fly Away

Days Equal 365 Soaring

Drifting To You

As I Dream Of A River

A Water So Blue

Wish I Could Live There

 So Far Away

Yet So Near

You Run And Hide

So I Disappear

Seduced By Your Sweetness

Broken By Your Fears

High On Your Smile

To You I Cheer

As I Sail Alone & Survive

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

 

 

 

 

Don't Look Back

An ocean view of you

Under a blanket of blue

My heart lays sailing 

Like a feather falling

One swallow to numb the pain

Swept away beneath the wave

Cold air sweeps in

To break the silence again

No more silence as the limitations of an internal riot

Sit hiding in the quiet 

Presenting yet another challenge

Searching for the perfect drug

Happy, unaware and smiling

Let me say one more thing

You don't realize

A day is like a year sometime

Going underground

Forgetting who was always around

Don't look back it was nothing special

As you look away, it was nothing but another sound

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

No Fee

Always available for you to use

Possibly even your fool

Eager for you to consume

All while remaining your tool

No fees ever involved

Not a difficult puzzle to solve

Love in the first degree

Just ask and you shall receive

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

So I Put You First

You've Been There

Since Day One

A Treasure To Behold

Present Night and Day

Your Love Guiding Me Along The Way

So I Put You First

Whether I'm Wrong Or Right

Whether My Faith Falters or Remains Tight

You're Always By My Side

You Are My Friend During High Tide

The Kiss Of Life

So I Put You First

If I Fall Your Loving Arms Catch Me

Allowing Me Laughter After The Tears Have Dried

Bringing Me To Shelter 

After A Tumultuous Ride

So I Put You First

You Are My Teacher, My Guide, My Protector

My Life Will Always Be In Your Hands

Therefore Lord I Will Always Put You First

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Disappearing Acts

Defenseless

Nothing really left to say

Captured by the emotions

As the path leads

Directly back to you

Again smitten

Only to be broken

Losing a piece of life daily

Disappearing with every word

Is every promise ever heard

The experience that cometh

A journey to be travelled 

Alone

In a not so perfect world

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

I Will Not Stop

As I gaze into the eyes of the mirror

What I see is not who I am.

The path leads deep within my soul

Hungry to find the course I should go.

Standing alone in the eye of the storm

The valley is deep but my spirit is strong. 

I will not stop and cannot be denied

A new day is dawning

All to carry me on, yet another ride.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Beautiful Being

Allow Prayer and Gratitude
To become your Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
Be creative,
Don't forget to invite Discernment into your life daily.
You can plan a date with Perseverance and
If you desire, it's okay to sleep around with Tranquility,
All while cheating on Bitterness and Disgust
Especially when it brings pleasure and excitement
to your Life of Enchantment.
Shower your Strength in Beauty
As you dust the Fear from the corner of your shelf
Carry Faith in your heart as Love
Pulses through your veins.
Be who you were meant to be
Loving Respectful,
Beautiful Being.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Keep It Sexy

Inviting you to fall deep inside my love song

I plan to be your quiet storm

Put the top back

Whisper in your ear

Tell me the last time 

You actually had a voice to soothe

Needing you to meet me 

In the background

Showing you how to explore

We will help each other move

Nice and Smooth

Place me on repeat

Nice and Smooth

Keep it Sexy
While you enjoy this groove

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

My Name Is.....

Once the shy little girl?

Some would say no

The shy one grew into a woman

With a voice to be heard.

A voice bellowing

Not realizing, 
Even though my voice was heard

The world was/is very cold

No one knows my name.

One small spec seen from above

An expression of that which is not seen

On the off chance you get a glimpse

Allow it to imprint upon your heart

For a couple of forevers

Remember its only a glimpse

Eventually just a memory

You have yet to score my name

It's high tide

I hear the beat of my heart

Swept away by the undertow

The mixed emotions stirring 
Remain as the tears flow 
Heavily and silently

What is my name?

You brought about a change

The world seemed delicate and calm

Quickly fading

Into the walls of uncertainty

My name? 

My heart is full of energy

Flowing as the ink escapes my pen

Creativity with fullness and magnitude

Finding solace in writing

Oftentimes hiding behind

The ink stained pages

Embraced by happiness, anger, joy and pain

To know me is to know

My name, 

One with depth and love

Falling hard and hurt often

Not everyone notices

Or pays attention

My name is Life

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Lost

Drifting to another place

Carried away by music 

No limit on what I'm here for

Making my way for something new everyday

Driven by music

Lost in so many precious things

'Til the sun comes up 

Don't try to find me

I will always come back to you

Seeing the world all by myself

Lost in Music  

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Untitled

It only took an hour to love you

A day to fall in love with you

A lifetime to let go of the love 

Shared with you!

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Illusions

A thousand rainy days

Though my umbrella is big enough for two

I'm the only one wet 

From the drops of my own tears

Sailing on a sea of memories

Where the wind will not let me go

Deep inside your heart

I close my eyes

Only smelling your skin

Inside my dreams

Discovering that it's just an illusion.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Logic v. Emotion

Logic v. Emotion

Logic - reason or sound judgment, as in utterances or actions

Emotion - Any strong agitation of the feelings actuated by experiencing love, hate, fear, etc. Usually accompanied by certain physiological changes, as increased heartbeat or respiration and often overt manifestation, as crying or shaking.  An affective state of conciousness, which joy, sorrow, fear or the like are experienced.  

Logic and emotion...do they create the perfect persuasion?

Logic being the very foundation in which emotion lies.

Do you logically decide that you love someone? Do you feel that logically you should say that you love them in order to keep them?  Or do you emotionally distract them in thinking that you love them by effectively building a foundation of love based on a logical thought process wherein honesty is more of a fear v. a strength?

Random Thoughts...

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Poetry Pantry

Your Smooth Skin

Your Complexion Sweet

Like the Richness of the Soil

Organic and Unspoiled

The Love You Emit

Beauty to Behold

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Self Reflection

I found it necessary to go away by myself for a day, 24 hrs.  

No sounds of I'm tired, my head hurts, my back hurts, what's for dinner? Where are you going? No dismal faces, the sounds of video games or negative attitudes, just me, myself and I coupled with the unknown faces of happiness and the kisses of beautiful weather.  

This was a treat to myself as a time of self reflection.  Where am I in my life? Where have I been and where am I going? The answers that have come to light are those in which I already had knowledge of, but disguised and extradited them to the dark trenches deep within an inviolably private sector of my mind.  This time alone, allowed The Skin I'm In to breathe and exhale the toxins that have settled into a pool of confusion.

The guilty pleasures of solitude drizzled with prime time conversations of the unknown made for an experience long overdue.  During this self reflection it was confirmed I've feared being lonely and alone; however I will confess, that fear is no more. Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. I have found loneliness to be a state of mind.  A choice in which I choose not to indulge in. Some may long for a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.  Personally I long for an abundance of peace, joy, love and happiness.  All else will fall into place.

My time of reflection has shown me that I have evolved into a more mature subject matter in respect to personal freedom accepting who I am and knowing how to love being alone. 

~~~Skin I'm In~~~