Self Reflection

I found it necessary to go away by myself for a day, 24 hrs.  

No sounds of I'm tired, my head hurts, my back hurts, what's for dinner? Where are you going? No dismal faces, the sounds of video games or negative attitudes, just me, myself and I coupled with the unknown faces of happiness and the kisses of beautiful weather.  

This was a treat to myself as a time of self reflection.  Where am I in my life? Where have I been and where am I going? The answers that have come to light are those in which I already had knowledge of, but disguised and extradited them to the dark trenches deep within an inviolably private sector of my mind.  This time alone, allowed The Skin I'm In to breathe and exhale the toxins that have settled into a pool of confusion.

The guilty pleasures of solitude drizzled with prime time conversations of the unknown made for an experience long overdue.  During this self reflection it was confirmed I've feared being lonely and alone; however I will confess, that fear is no more. Being alone doesn't mean you're lonely. I have found loneliness to be a state of mind.  A choice in which I choose not to indulge in. Some may long for a husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend.  Personally I long for an abundance of peace, joy, love and happiness.  All else will fall into place.

My time of reflection has shown me that I have evolved into a more mature subject matter in respect to personal freedom accepting who I am and knowing how to love being alone. 

~~~Skin I'm In~~~

What is the Role of YOUR Pastor?

What is the role of Your Pastor?
My words and thoughts may bring a little heartburn to some reading this only because the shoe sitting in front of your recliner is YOUR GLASS SLIPPER. No need for me to continue with the old saying. 


Through my observations and reads over the years one would surmise the pastor is there not to please the sheep but to nurture and feed the sheep.  Nourishing their souls not playing tiddly winks while building sand castles in the sand.


Pastors serve as shepherds, leaders, protectors and comforters.  Providing Outreach which would encompass visitations to members homes and hospitals or other facilities where members or their families may need prayer. 


As a Shepherd you lead by example.  Which in essence is leading from within not from above as the CEO of a major corporation. Get your hands dirty don't look down your nose at anyone. Within your teachings & leadership you are developing your flock.


Your flock can't kick, scratch, bite, jump or run.  As a Shepherd you don't kick them when they are down. Nor add insult to injury. You don't criticize and question someones upbringing, etc when you aren't but 500 feet from a jail cell yourself.  You don't stand up before God and your congregation advising of your Outreach to the sick and shut in and you fail to set foot off the confines of your property line.   


Bottom line as noted in a prior blog...Your Say Should Match Your Do! A Man of God is a Man of His Word.  I know things happen, all in all we're huMAN.  With that being said I would be more inclined to absorb your teachings and note you as credible if you readily admit you make mistakes, readily admit that you are still a work in progress, but you strive to walk in the path of your greatest fulfillment, HIS Likeness.


~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Breath Of Life

We've been given the breath of life,

We are uniquely designed

with a one of a kind soul.

A soul that exists forever.

Now and forever priceless in value

Forever etched in the minds and hearts,

Creating and receiving

Blessings from,

and for others.

The Breath Of Life.

~~~Skin I'm In~~~



Hate On Me

If I could give you the world on a silver platter would it even matter or would you still be mad at me.  In reality I'm gonna be who I be. And I don 't feel no faults for all the lies you bought. Hate on me hater, now or later. ~~Jill Scott~~


So shall it be that we as women make it difficult for ourselves in today's society, by hating on the other.  Jealousy, deceit and pure malice prevent us from enjoying life and uplifting others. 


As a conversation developed over our lovely social networks a question was posed..."Why do we as women talk about each other behind one's back, why are we fake friends, backstabbers and vicious?"


Many eloquent voices expressed answers which should reach deep into the female mind.  There were a few responses that were amplified in my opinion.  Aside from the normal jealousy, insecurity and spitefulness one young lady stated, 'It's what we feed our spirits, what we feed our spirit is a direct reflection of who we are.' 
Just as dwelling on negativity promotes negativity and the saying, 'You Are What You Eat'. This leads to an unhealthy lifestyle.  When we surround ourselves with poison, guess what, we become that venomous creature. 


'Lack of confidence & jealousy.  Comparing ourselves to others, weight, height, accomplishments, etc.  Comparison is unhealthy and robs us of the opportunity to be happy for ourselves and others'.
This statement should be an A-HA for some.  And directly correlates to what we feed our spirit.  As an example.  We are constantly absorbed in reality TV, we watch beautiful women in some of these programs constantly arguing over the most ridiculous things and degrading others.  We see models and think just because they are a size 0 they are the norm.  No sweetheart YOU are the norm.  If you are a size 0 great.  If you are a size 18 great.  You must embrace who you are, know who you are and learn from the knowledge you gain.  You need to know that comparing yourself to someone else definitely steals your joy.  You are wasting so much time worrying about why you haven't accomplished what someone else has, becoming angry and bitter.  Instead focus on what God has in store for you. You can only be ONE, know that you are unique. And allow the next person to be who they are without the cattiness.


'When a woman is secure with herself, she has no time to belittle the next woman!'  Once again it is about knowing ourselves.  Understanding our worth and ability to continue to blossom as no other can. 


So many feel the need to compete with others to obtain or even maintain the friendship of another and in doing so you make disparaging comments about another.  It's not necessary.  It's very simple, treat others as you would have others treat you. 


Thank you Monique, Summer, Roxanne and Angela for your thoughts.


~~~Skin I'm In~~~

Does Your Say Match Your Do?

I find myself encountering those that have a lot to say, however they can't seem to keep up with the words coming out of their mouths.  CHIN MUSIC is what I like to call it!!  You are given the opportunity to prove that you are worthy of trust.  Why lose it by not being a doer of your word? I guess there is no significance to the phrase "Word Is Bond" anymore.


Questions arise.  As an example, if you advise someone that you will call them in 20 minutes and that 20 minutes turns into 24-48 hours (multiple times) why Say that you will call?  Is it a means of trying to control that person and how they feel about you? If so, sounds a bit like manipulation.  Afraid of them being disappointed in you if you just indicate you will not be calling?  Do you feel that if someone asks you to do something you are obligated to SAY YES, then turn around and renege because you feel as though they are trying to control YOU?  You feel the need to put up resistance because you have it in your head "I will not be controlled!"  Regardless of how you view it, the lack of adhering to what you say, says a lot about who you are or better yet WHO YOU ARE NOT!! 


Doing what you say, shows you have integrity. A very important characteristic. Being a doer also promotes trust and reliability.  It's difficult enough to trust people in general however when you are consistently falling short in this arena the trust that may have thrived within your friendship/relationship or professional life is quickly thrust off the cliffs bypassing the serene ocean view and plunging into the infernal regions of hell.  I can be a bit dramatic, but you get my meaning!!!!  


Food for thought...what you actually do has more weight than what you say you are going to do. 


~~~Skin I'm In~~~