Control

When you are in a relationship or what is deemed to be a relatioship it should not be treated as a dictatorship by either party.  There are qualities in each that should compliment the other.  Unfortunately sometimes we are unable to find that grassy median. 

Something to ask yourself about your partner.  Do they help you to live a better and healthier life?  Be clear on your thoughts before you answer.  What you may think, are the intentions that have love screaming from all angles, could very well be an unintentional deceptive schemer. 

 

 

Two Types of Relationship Controllers

 

The violent and physically abusive and the caring, sensitive one whom controls you emotionally.  The latter is not always the obvious one. They do not necessarily dominate you, but will still find a way to cut your legs out from under you.  Don't be mistaken or caught off guard.  Both types can be rolled up into one person.  Scary I know. 

 

You may never know you are with an emotionally controlling person until it's too late.  You can be easily deceived as they are not bad people.  They have insecurities and are generally possessive, forgetting where to draw the line or creating their own for you.  

 

A Few Signs To Watch Out For

 

They need to be informed of all you do.  They may become agitated if you don't check in to their specifications.  They will blow that cell phone up if you don't respond quick enough.  Back in the day it would have been a 911 page.

 

They don't like it when you have fun without them.  You may want to discuss your activities and how wonderful they were and you will be addressed with perhaps a grunt or "That's Nice"

 

They are manipulative. Constantly trying to make decisions for you.  Choosing what they want you to eat while out at dinner.  "He/She will have the Escargot drizzled with a White Wine Sauce,  Asparagus Spears and Wild Rice".  You cringe because you know at this very moment you would much rather be at Five Guys getting that juicy hamburger drenched in green peppers, onions, mushrooms, cheese and a hint of grease.  

 

They create their own rules while imposing completely different rules upon you.  We all know a household that plays Spades has their own House Rules.

 

They disapprove when you spend time with friends.  Your friends are a bad influence on you and they want to choose your friends for you or even be your one and only friend.  "If you play with Suzy I'm not playing with you anymore.  Suzy has the cooties".

 

Your life now revolves around them or so you think.  Their happiness becomes yours, their wants become yours.  Your identity has become non-existent.

 

I may have made light of these signs; however these signs are reality.  And the reality is..Relationships shouldn't change who you are as a person.  Only you should be able to change you.  The relationship should provide you with an added path that leads you to additional growth.





~~~Skin I'm In~~~