What do we call the woman that sleeps with her daughters boyfriend? Would it be proper to call her a cougar? I have a number of distasteful names that I could call this type of woman, but I would prefer that someone else come up with their own names.
It should be noted that 1/3 of single women between the age of 40 and 60 are dating younger men. However does this statistic make it okay to seduce your daughter's boyfriend? I would say not.
It is my thought that a woman should be their to protect, love and nurture her children. Not betray them, cause them harm or disown them. What would cause a woman to flaunt her affair with the daughter's boyfriend, play juvenile games by taunting her daughter. Trying to injure her daughter by running her off the road in the boyfriend's car, then creating havoc in a local establishment.
Are you insecure and jealous of your daughter? Are you setting out to hurt her because she looks and reminds you of your ex-husband. The same ex-husband that left you because you opted to cheat, steal and show no moral standards when it came to your marriage.
It's a chance that there are some suppressed issues from childhood; however if this is the case, those issues need to be dealt with. Denial is not an option, nor disowning your own flesh and blood.
,
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Her Biggest Hit Was About Her Problem
The title is part of a tweet I read the other day, in reference to Amy Winehouse and her song 'Rehab'. Oftentimes we forget that most things written are a direct result of an experience.
I read a post from yet another social network, which started my wheels turning as usual. We put so much time and emphasis into grieving or marveling over celebrities that have succumbed to death as a result of the over indulgence of drugs and alcohol. We speak of how saddened we are that they have died at such an early age. It's tragic! We have a '27 Club' for artists such as Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and now Amy Winehouse has been added. There are other individuals that are noted in this club that have not been mentioned in this post. Just keeping the list a bit short to prove a small point. These are names that most people recognize and continue to speak of long after their passing. My question at this moment is, do you recognize the following names?:
Lisa Steinberg - NY, age 6
Annette Anderson - GA, age 37
Valerie Anne "Bubble" Barker - VA age 20
Layne Bryan Banik - NE age 2
Debra Breaux - AZ age 38
Jacob Breaux - AZ age 4
Melissa Breaux - AZ age 7
Tamara Nicole Zimmerman - SC 4 months
Kimberly Dabney - MD age 40
Darlene Dowsey - MD age 27
Carol Evans - OH age 72
Connie Bradway - NC 28(pregnant)
9 times out of 10 you don't recognize these names. The question is why? I can tell you that from this list, Lisa Steinberg, died at the age of 6. Lisa was unconscious, bruised and blue. Allowed to be a victim of brutality, neglect and destruction. A senseless killing. Her parents(adoptive) Joel Steinberg, a NY Attorney and Hedda Nussbaum a writer. Both Lisa and Hedda, victims of family and domestic violence. Lisa had a baby brother found the same time his sister was, tied to a play pen with a rope, clothes soaked in urine and body covered in dirt.
Darlene Dowsey, age 27, mother of 2. Shot in the head by her estranged husband. Darlene tried to do everything right, protective orders, police attention, family support. It wasn't enough. I still see Darlene's smile, as she was always alongside my hairstylist working on her own clients head and telling jokes. A senseless killing!
These names belong to those that were not celebrities belonging to the "I did everything right' club or the 'Many Reasons Why I Should Stay' club. Yes, their biggest HIT was definitely about their problems.
Do me a favor make a mental list. Think of three women you know. Consider.....statistically 1 out of every 3 American women has been a victim of domestic violence, is currently being abused or will suffer abuse during their lifetime. Think of how much attention is paid to the victim whose protective orders lie at the bottom of a 12 inch stack of papers on a Friday afternoon, on the clerks desk. The clerk decides to take an extended lunch, returns only to add more documents to the 12 inch stack instead of working through it. Victim is shot and killed Monday morning, 7:30 a.m. as her child boards the school bus.
No One death is less or more important than the other; but more emphasis needs to be put on HOW to prevent such. We have the ability to make a difference!
I read a post from yet another social network, which started my wheels turning as usual. We put so much time and emphasis into grieving or marveling over celebrities that have succumbed to death as a result of the over indulgence of drugs and alcohol. We speak of how saddened we are that they have died at such an early age. It's tragic! We have a '27 Club' for artists such as Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain and now Amy Winehouse has been added. There are other individuals that are noted in this club that have not been mentioned in this post. Just keeping the list a bit short to prove a small point. These are names that most people recognize and continue to speak of long after their passing. My question at this moment is, do you recognize the following names?:
Lisa Steinberg - NY, age 6
Annette Anderson - GA, age 37
Valerie Anne "Bubble" Barker - VA age 20
Layne Bryan Banik - NE age 2
Debra Breaux - AZ age 38
Jacob Breaux - AZ age 4
Melissa Breaux - AZ age 7
Tamara Nicole Zimmerman - SC 4 months
Kimberly Dabney - MD age 40
Darlene Dowsey - MD age 27
Carol Evans - OH age 72
Connie Bradway - NC 28(pregnant)
9 times out of 10 you don't recognize these names. The question is why? I can tell you that from this list, Lisa Steinberg, died at the age of 6. Lisa was unconscious, bruised and blue. Allowed to be a victim of brutality, neglect and destruction. A senseless killing. Her parents(adoptive) Joel Steinberg, a NY Attorney and Hedda Nussbaum a writer. Both Lisa and Hedda, victims of family and domestic violence. Lisa had a baby brother found the same time his sister was, tied to a play pen with a rope, clothes soaked in urine and body covered in dirt.
Darlene Dowsey, age 27, mother of 2. Shot in the head by her estranged husband. Darlene tried to do everything right, protective orders, police attention, family support. It wasn't enough. I still see Darlene's smile, as she was always alongside my hairstylist working on her own clients head and telling jokes. A senseless killing!
These names belong to those that were not celebrities belonging to the "I did everything right' club or the 'Many Reasons Why I Should Stay' club. Yes, their biggest HIT was definitely about their problems.
Do me a favor make a mental list. Think of three women you know. Consider.....statistically 1 out of every 3 American women has been a victim of domestic violence, is currently being abused or will suffer abuse during their lifetime. Think of how much attention is paid to the victim whose protective orders lie at the bottom of a 12 inch stack of papers on a Friday afternoon, on the clerks desk. The clerk decides to take an extended lunch, returns only to add more documents to the 12 inch stack instead of working through it. Victim is shot and killed Monday morning, 7:30 a.m. as her child boards the school bus.
No One death is less or more important than the other; but more emphasis needs to be put on HOW to prevent such. We have the ability to make a difference!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
You Are Not The Father
Listening to a conversation between a group of young people. Young in the sense of twenty something. A few above the age of thirty. I do not personally know these people and it's a good thing. My lack of knowing them assisted me in keeping my mouth shut just a little bit.
A young lady apparently calls a family meeting of sorts to discuss a delicate matter. I will call the young lady Corrinne. Corrinne has become aggravated that her child's father or so the family thought he (Kevin) was the father, has moved on and is about to marry and have a child by his fiance'. Corrinne finds it in her heart to advise Kevin and his family that he is not the biological father of now 8 year old Courtney. Corrinne provides the family with paperwork to prove her thought provoking and hurtful topic. This is not an episode of Maury Povich, Jerry Springer or the guy Steve from Jerry's show. This is a true story. Sad and true.
This young man has paid child support and taken care of this little girl as a father should, providing Courtney with his last name, only to have the rug pulled from under, sending him into a tailspin of overwhelming emotions. The 8 year old Courtney that is in tears because of her father's outburst of obscenities followed by a broken table and tears.
The immediate charge, of the aunt of 8 years, across the room as her fists meet with Corrinne's chest. What mother would do this? Why in a public place? Why after 8 years? Why the juvenile and petty animosity she has due to Courtney's father of 8 years wanting an opportunity to move on with his life? The mentality of individuals today never ceases to amaze me.
At this intersection in time I wanted to hug the little girl and her father. Their worlds turned upside down. The aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins in shock. Life as they once knew it to be, is no longer.
My thoughts...when you lay down with more than one person without any form of contraceptive during a two to three week span, you seem to be making an adult decision. If you're adult enough to spread your legs, then you should be adult enough to face the consequences and truth that their is the possibility that you don't know who the father is of your unborn child. Own up to that responsibility. Save yourself and those around you the heartache.
A young lady apparently calls a family meeting of sorts to discuss a delicate matter. I will call the young lady Corrinne. Corrinne has become aggravated that her child's father or so the family thought he (Kevin) was the father, has moved on and is about to marry and have a child by his fiance'. Corrinne finds it in her heart to advise Kevin and his family that he is not the biological father of now 8 year old Courtney. Corrinne provides the family with paperwork to prove her thought provoking and hurtful topic. This is not an episode of Maury Povich, Jerry Springer or the guy Steve from Jerry's show. This is a true story. Sad and true.
This young man has paid child support and taken care of this little girl as a father should, providing Courtney with his last name, only to have the rug pulled from under, sending him into a tailspin of overwhelming emotions. The 8 year old Courtney that is in tears because of her father's outburst of obscenities followed by a broken table and tears.
The immediate charge, of the aunt of 8 years, across the room as her fists meet with Corrinne's chest. What mother would do this? Why in a public place? Why after 8 years? Why the juvenile and petty animosity she has due to Courtney's father of 8 years wanting an opportunity to move on with his life? The mentality of individuals today never ceases to amaze me.
At this intersection in time I wanted to hug the little girl and her father. Their worlds turned upside down. The aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins in shock. Life as they once knew it to be, is no longer.
My thoughts...when you lay down with more than one person without any form of contraceptive during a two to three week span, you seem to be making an adult decision. If you're adult enough to spread your legs, then you should be adult enough to face the consequences and truth that their is the possibility that you don't know who the father is of your unborn child. Own up to that responsibility. Save yourself and those around you the heartache.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Soul Searching
Soul Searching, a means by which we bring about new principles of life, feelings, thoughts, actions and a revolutionary new vision and grace to relinquish us from the dark negative side of our natures.
With our search comes development of that kind of humility that makes it possible to receive God's help and nurturing. We find that as time progresses we can discard the old life, the one that did not work, refused to work-replacing it with a new life that can and will work under conditions which we have known to be oppressive.
With our search comes development of that kind of humility that makes it possible to receive God's help and nurturing. We find that as time progresses we can discard the old life, the one that did not work, refused to work-replacing it with a new life that can and will work under conditions which we have known to be oppressive.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A Father's Love
Waking to the sound of the deepest voice in the house.
One of the faces you see when you take your first step as a toddler.
The hand that reaches out to help you up when you wreck your bicycle once the training wheels have been removed.
The voice you hear in the stands cheering you on during a sandlot game. "That's MY SON", "That's MY GIRL!".
The one that bellows "That's not what we learned. You know what I taught you!!! Let's make it happen!"
The third base coach in a softball game yelling "Dig, Dig, Dig!!!!" as you round third heading home.
The voice beside you in the passenger seat of the car trying to direct you while learning to drive a car, bellowing "STOP, STOP, STOP the damn car! You just added white walls to the tires. Get out, I'm driving!"
The voice of the man that puts the fear of GOD in his daughter's first date. "Don't make me dust my daughter for finger prints or any other substances when you get back!", as he answers the door with a machete in one hand and a chain saw in the other.
The Man with his chest as high as the heavens when his son comes home with a four foot trophy and plaque acknowledging he broke three cinder blocks with his bare hands.
The feeling of a father's embrace when you walk across the stage at graduation.
The love you see in his eyes the day of your wedding.
Funny....I'm unable to equate many of the moments mentioned to a father's love. Those seem like moments that are monumental in a child's life.
My father's love is based solely on memories.
Seeing my Dad stand beside his Dodge Charger or the Green Volkswagen Beetle. The Beetle would creep me out a bit, only because it was always covered by caterpillars that fell from the trees. Yuck!!
Finding out that my Dad was Santa Claus and racing my AFX Slot cars on the AFX Race Track that was in the dining and living room floor.
Watching my Dad play recreational basketball and softball with his coworkers from Norfolk and Western Railways. Spending time with him at work, walking across the breezeway that hovered over the train tracks.
Listening to my Dad chuckle when I fell from my bike after he removed the training wheels. A bit beside himself I might add. I did fine until I realized he was no longer behind me.
Remembering his horizontal striped shirts which were ugly, his KOOL cigarettes, PBR's and Budweiser. I thought cigarettes labeled KOOL were kind of Cool and I remember the Pabst Blue Ribbon cans.
The talks that were had prior to going out shopping. Really it was my Dad & Mom talking, "Don't ask for nothin' because you ain't gettin' nothin'!"
The major fishing trip that my Dad & I took. A charter on the Chesapeake Bay. I didn't bait my hook, but I definitely caught the bulk of the fish. Fun Times!
The deepest memory, seeing my father, a marine and Vietnam vet lying in uniform in a casket. He looked so handsome and sharp. His expression, one of peace and love. At the age of six one would not imagine that the expression of peace would make such a lasting impression, but for me it has. My Father's Love!! I'm fortunate to see my father every time I see my brother. He could be my Dad's twin.
For those of you that have the classic family household, don't take it for granted. Cherish it!!!! When your father is around to watch and participate in your growth by leaps and bounds. Embrace the love. Don't push him away, include him in your thoughts and activities. For the father's that for some reason or another opt not to be in the lives of their children, try changing before it's too late.
Peace and Enjoy Your Father's Love!
One of the faces you see when you take your first step as a toddler.
The hand that reaches out to help you up when you wreck your bicycle once the training wheels have been removed.
The voice you hear in the stands cheering you on during a sandlot game. "That's MY SON", "That's MY GIRL!".
The one that bellows "That's not what we learned. You know what I taught you!!! Let's make it happen!"
The third base coach in a softball game yelling "Dig, Dig, Dig!!!!" as you round third heading home.
The voice beside you in the passenger seat of the car trying to direct you while learning to drive a car, bellowing "STOP, STOP, STOP the damn car! You just added white walls to the tires. Get out, I'm driving!"
The voice of the man that puts the fear of GOD in his daughter's first date. "Don't make me dust my daughter for finger prints or any other substances when you get back!", as he answers the door with a machete in one hand and a chain saw in the other.
The Man with his chest as high as the heavens when his son comes home with a four foot trophy and plaque acknowledging he broke three cinder blocks with his bare hands.
The feeling of a father's embrace when you walk across the stage at graduation.
The love you see in his eyes the day of your wedding.
Funny....I'm unable to equate many of the moments mentioned to a father's love. Those seem like moments that are monumental in a child's life.
My father's love is based solely on memories.
Seeing my Dad stand beside his Dodge Charger or the Green Volkswagen Beetle. The Beetle would creep me out a bit, only because it was always covered by caterpillars that fell from the trees. Yuck!!
Finding out that my Dad was Santa Claus and racing my AFX Slot cars on the AFX Race Track that was in the dining and living room floor.
Watching my Dad play recreational basketball and softball with his coworkers from Norfolk and Western Railways. Spending time with him at work, walking across the breezeway that hovered over the train tracks.
Listening to my Dad chuckle when I fell from my bike after he removed the training wheels. A bit beside himself I might add. I did fine until I realized he was no longer behind me.
Remembering his horizontal striped shirts which were ugly, his KOOL cigarettes, PBR's and Budweiser. I thought cigarettes labeled KOOL were kind of Cool and I remember the Pabst Blue Ribbon cans.
The talks that were had prior to going out shopping. Really it was my Dad & Mom talking, "Don't ask for nothin' because you ain't gettin' nothin'!"
The major fishing trip that my Dad & I took. A charter on the Chesapeake Bay. I didn't bait my hook, but I definitely caught the bulk of the fish. Fun Times!
The deepest memory, seeing my father, a marine and Vietnam vet lying in uniform in a casket. He looked so handsome and sharp. His expression, one of peace and love. At the age of six one would not imagine that the expression of peace would make such a lasting impression, but for me it has. My Father's Love!! I'm fortunate to see my father every time I see my brother. He could be my Dad's twin.
For those of you that have the classic family household, don't take it for granted. Cherish it!!!! When your father is around to watch and participate in your growth by leaps and bounds. Embrace the love. Don't push him away, include him in your thoughts and activities. For the father's that for some reason or another opt not to be in the lives of their children, try changing before it's too late.
Peace and Enjoy Your Father's Love!
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Mahogany Bliss
Heaven Divine
You have arrived
An angel in disguise
Your smile, brings about MY natural high.
Ebony eyes
Sweet mocha lips
Wrapped in your magic
And the rhythm of those hips.
That thing called love or lust
Appears like the hummingbird
Seeking that sweet berry nectar
Those arms, those hands
Familiar with the songs I sing
Soothing and comforting.
Lead me on my journey of the rolling hills
While I guide you through the valley low
Damn who knew I would miss that Mahogany Bliss.
You have arrived
An angel in disguise
Your smile, brings about MY natural high.
Ebony eyes
Sweet mocha lips
Wrapped in your magic
And the rhythm of those hips.
That thing called love or lust
Appears like the hummingbird
Seeking that sweet berry nectar
Those arms, those hands
Familiar with the songs I sing
Soothing and comforting.
Lead me on my journey of the rolling hills
While I guide you through the valley low
Damn who knew I would miss that Mahogany Bliss.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Slavery Today
As I briefly scan an article regarding Slavery Today/Human Trafficking and browse through the comments I realize that so many are just oblivious to what is going on in today's world.
Are we so ignorant to equate or compare slavery to religion or the lack there of? Since when does someone's lack of religion solely promote slavery? Perhaps I am the one being a bit naive in that respect. Please note the sarcasm.
Slavery, bondage, a victim induced into slave like exploitation through fraud, force or coercion. Oftentimes victims are subject to physical abuse &/or psychological intimidation; wherein they are unable to free themselves from their current situation until they have conjured up enough strength or have obtained assistance from an outside source.
It should be noted that in today's society there is no need for legal ownership as it was in the 1800's. Now a child can be bought and sold for as little as $100 versus $1000 in the 1800's. Slavery is now a global enterprise involving corrupt law enforcement, drug dealers, criminal gangs and families deprived of strength and vitality.
One of the most prevalent forms of slavery in the U.S. is commercial sex exploitation. This is a multi-billion dollar business involving young girls generally 18 years or younger, that have either been kidnapped or sold to the highest bidder by their families with the inability to afford to feed them. We must not forget the children that have been orphaned as a result of natural disasters as the devasting earthquake in Haiti. These problems create an ongoing source of ongoing supply for experienced traffickers.
So for those that blame hinduism or any other religion for slavery as we know it today...I think you're wrong. There are so many that do not claim to be Christians or part of any particular religious sector that are not involved in this way of life. Then you have those that were raised in the Church that are. I find this to be a choice. A choice instituted by those without morals or a clear sense of what is wrong or right. This is their (their being the traffickers) method of operation no matter how wrong it is or who it may hurt. Of course this is my opinion and I'm entitled to it.
There are similarities to those enslaved to those that are victims of domestic violence, elder abuse & family violence.....Perhaps I will continue this on my next post.
Are we so ignorant to equate or compare slavery to religion or the lack there of? Since when does someone's lack of religion solely promote slavery? Perhaps I am the one being a bit naive in that respect. Please note the sarcasm.
Slavery, bondage, a victim induced into slave like exploitation through fraud, force or coercion. Oftentimes victims are subject to physical abuse &/or psychological intimidation; wherein they are unable to free themselves from their current situation until they have conjured up enough strength or have obtained assistance from an outside source.
It should be noted that in today's society there is no need for legal ownership as it was in the 1800's. Now a child can be bought and sold for as little as $100 versus $1000 in the 1800's. Slavery is now a global enterprise involving corrupt law enforcement, drug dealers, criminal gangs and families deprived of strength and vitality.
One of the most prevalent forms of slavery in the U.S. is commercial sex exploitation. This is a multi-billion dollar business involving young girls generally 18 years or younger, that have either been kidnapped or sold to the highest bidder by their families with the inability to afford to feed them. We must not forget the children that have been orphaned as a result of natural disasters as the devasting earthquake in Haiti. These problems create an ongoing source of ongoing supply for experienced traffickers.
So for those that blame hinduism or any other religion for slavery as we know it today...I think you're wrong. There are so many that do not claim to be Christians or part of any particular religious sector that are not involved in this way of life. Then you have those that were raised in the Church that are. I find this to be a choice. A choice instituted by those without morals or a clear sense of what is wrong or right. This is their (their being the traffickers) method of operation no matter how wrong it is or who it may hurt. Of course this is my opinion and I'm entitled to it.
There are similarities to those enslaved to those that are victims of domestic violence, elder abuse & family violence.....Perhaps I will continue this on my next post.
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