A twelve year old little girl takes her life for reasons only she and God are truly aware of. For those of us on the outside looking in we speculate. Horrible atmosphere at home, depression, social isolation, overwhelmed with being a preteen. Whatever the reason a life is lost and we cant get it back.
As a parent it imprisons my heart to think that a child's life is gripped with so much depression, etc. Their voice has been stifled by their peers, they are looked upon as different, weird, poor, nerdy and stupid. This may not be the case for all, but it is a reality for some. Children are cruel towards others and the words noted do not remotely touch the cruelty that is projected. Without the positive reinforcement from parents, guardians, extended family, teachers or mentors our children fade to black.
Some individuals feel that I am in my children's business TOO MUCH. Guess what it won't change. That's my job! I love my children and if it is perceived that I am too strict or I do not provide them with enough privacy. So be it. Anyway what privacy do you have as a child? I am ALL UP IN THE BUSINESS, I am the parent and that's how it will remain.
Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death in children ages 10-14, the third leading cause of death for those ages 15-24. These numbers are taken just a bit further. For those under the age of 15, there are 1-2 out of every 100,000 that commit suicide. For those 15-24 there are 11 out of every 100,000 that will take their own life. These numbers may seem minuscule to some, but 1 life diminished by suicide is 1 too many.
The voice of suicide has no gender or color preference. I will say the voice of suicide is selective in character. Therefore love your children, hug your children, have conversations with your children, listen to your children and hear what is NOT always said.
~~~~Skin I'm In~~~~
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Seeking The Different Flavors Of Wrong
Is there truly a Miss, Mrs. or Mr. Right?
More of my random thoughts.
Some may ask the question, "Why am I always choosing the wrong person to be in a relationship with?" My question to that question is, "Are you sure you're not choosing the Right Wrong Person?"
Are we seeking different flavors of wrong, thinking that the wrongness is right, because we are dealing with demons within and gravitate to those with similar demons that compliment us? Confusing huh? Such is love.
One would think to seek the love of the person that knows how to give the gift of oneself without the expectation of something in return. However you must know yourself well enough to understand that gift, not reject the gift choosing the art of re-gifting. Not only should we know ourselves, but learn what we want and what we don't want. Perhaps stop being in love with the idea of being in love, falling in love with a facsimile thereof.
We view him/her as our soul mate because we have shared an intimate connection prior to evaluating the future. Think about this, is the one you see as your soul mate your goal mate? In other words, do you share common interests, common goals, chemistry and compatibility? Do you have admiration and respect for him/her or are you just impressed by them?
Keep in mind as you ponder...admiration is to regard with wonder; wherein being impressed is the act of drawing attention. A Mercedes or a Bentley Continental GT is impressive. A woman or man loving God, always smiling, working a full time job, a part time job, going to school part-time and holding it down at home for the family is to be admired!
~~~Skin I'm In~~~
More of my random thoughts.
Some may ask the question, "Why am I always choosing the wrong person to be in a relationship with?" My question to that question is, "Are you sure you're not choosing the Right Wrong Person?"
Are we seeking different flavors of wrong, thinking that the wrongness is right, because we are dealing with demons within and gravitate to those with similar demons that compliment us? Confusing huh? Such is love.
One would think to seek the love of the person that knows how to give the gift of oneself without the expectation of something in return. However you must know yourself well enough to understand that gift, not reject the gift choosing the art of re-gifting. Not only should we know ourselves, but learn what we want and what we don't want. Perhaps stop being in love with the idea of being in love, falling in love with a facsimile thereof.
We view him/her as our soul mate because we have shared an intimate connection prior to evaluating the future. Think about this, is the one you see as your soul mate your goal mate? In other words, do you share common interests, common goals, chemistry and compatibility? Do you have admiration and respect for him/her or are you just impressed by them?
Keep in mind as you ponder...admiration is to regard with wonder; wherein being impressed is the act of drawing attention. A Mercedes or a Bentley Continental GT is impressive. A woman or man loving God, always smiling, working a full time job, a part time job, going to school part-time and holding it down at home for the family is to be admired!
~~~Skin I'm In~~~
Monday, January 16, 2012
Expressions of Self-Random Thoughts
Volcanic lava
Warm, overflowing and electric
Rising with the belief that each day will be better
Dreams awakened
By losing oneself in forever
The edge of morning is near
My soul is aching to be
Somewhere other than here
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Church or Chutch II
Scenario #1
Female high school graduate; hereby known as Sunny. Grows up being nourished in the church. Sunny encounters David, a young minister at a church convention. They share their experiences in Christ and over a span of 6 months they break bread, attend church fall in love and marry. David was slotted to be in the area for approximately 8 months, so after his marriage to Sunny, he advised they were moving. Moving back to his home of record. Sunny was far from thrilled with this decision as this move would take her away from her family. Sunny expressed her opinion of the matter only to realize David had absolutely NO desire in hearing Sunny's opinion. David slapped Sunny advising her that she needed to be submissive. Being contrary was not an option. Sunny being young and naive agreed.
Scenario #2
Tasha raised in church. Grows up in a struggling household. Pays her way through college, moves away, finds a church home and is befriended by a young minister, hereby named Charles. Tasha and Charles spend endless days together; their relationship is no longer platonic and Tasha is pregnant. Tasha has been with no one else but Charles. Tasha advises Charles of the baby, Charles tells Tasha to get an abortion. Arguments erupt because Tasha wants her baby. During these arguments it is disclosed that Charles is married to another member of the church. Charles' wife is in Afghanistan on her second tour and will be returning in 4 months. Charles tells Tasha that he wants nothing to do with the baby and if she chooses not to abort then she will be raising the child on her own. Charles also advises Tasha that if she sheds any light as to who the child's father is, he will cause her bodily harm.
Two issues weigh heavily with these scenarios.
1- Religion/Christian views on abortion &
2-Christian women & domestic violence
Scenario #1
Some teachings would explain that spousal abuse should be dealt with by temporary separation in conjunction with church marriage counseling. Marriage counseling somehow designed to bring forth a reconciliation.
--My question..are the church counselors knowledgeable enough in the cycle of domestic violence?
Scenario #2
The Bible states 'Thou shalt not kill' --Exodus 20:13
Surely our worth as a human being is not dependent upon how far we are in life.
--My question..as a minister, leader or teacher of God's word are you practicing what you preach or manipulating to oblige your act of cheating?
More to express at a later date. In the meantime feel free to share your voice.
Female high school graduate; hereby known as Sunny. Grows up being nourished in the church. Sunny encounters David, a young minister at a church convention. They share their experiences in Christ and over a span of 6 months they break bread, attend church fall in love and marry. David was slotted to be in the area for approximately 8 months, so after his marriage to Sunny, he advised they were moving. Moving back to his home of record. Sunny was far from thrilled with this decision as this move would take her away from her family. Sunny expressed her opinion of the matter only to realize David had absolutely NO desire in hearing Sunny's opinion. David slapped Sunny advising her that she needed to be submissive. Being contrary was not an option. Sunny being young and naive agreed.
Scenario #2
Tasha raised in church. Grows up in a struggling household. Pays her way through college, moves away, finds a church home and is befriended by a young minister, hereby named Charles. Tasha and Charles spend endless days together; their relationship is no longer platonic and Tasha is pregnant. Tasha has been with no one else but Charles. Tasha advises Charles of the baby, Charles tells Tasha to get an abortion. Arguments erupt because Tasha wants her baby. During these arguments it is disclosed that Charles is married to another member of the church. Charles' wife is in Afghanistan on her second tour and will be returning in 4 months. Charles tells Tasha that he wants nothing to do with the baby and if she chooses not to abort then she will be raising the child on her own. Charles also advises Tasha that if she sheds any light as to who the child's father is, he will cause her bodily harm.
Two issues weigh heavily with these scenarios.
1- Religion/Christian views on abortion &
2-Christian women & domestic violence
Scenario #1
Some teachings would explain that spousal abuse should be dealt with by temporary separation in conjunction with church marriage counseling. Marriage counseling somehow designed to bring forth a reconciliation.
--My question..are the church counselors knowledgeable enough in the cycle of domestic violence?
Scenario #2
The Bible states 'Thou shalt not kill' --Exodus 20:13
Surely our worth as a human being is not dependent upon how far we are in life.
--My question..as a minister, leader or teacher of God's word are you practicing what you preach or manipulating to oblige your act of cheating?
More to express at a later date. In the meantime feel free to share your voice.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Random 'Family' Thoughts
Family - defined many ways.
1- a basic social unit consisting of parents and children
2- any group of persons closely related by blood
3- all those considered descendants of a biologically related ancestor
The list goes on; but every one's view of family differs no matter how similar in meaning the dictionary determines.
What the dictionary does not provide detail on, is the FAMILY that just doesn't exist. Let me elaborate the ideal family, in my eyes only exists in fairy tales. Father, Mother, Sister(s), Brother(s), doting grandparents, aunts and uncles. Minor arguments between Mother & Father, nothing earth shattering. You have the dog, cat, picket fence, 2 cars or perhaps the mini van for the soccer mom, parents that show for all of their children's extra-curricular events, children graduate from high school go off to college and come home on their breaks to two parents still in love with each other and their childhood home is still serene.
Ah ha!! Let's get to the real deal. You have the 'Soul Food' family wherein family sleeps with another family members husband. Some of the family is quite affluent or they manage their money well while other members constantly have their hands out. Or you have the Osborne's, Whitney Houston/Bobby Browns, Lindsey Lohans & Brittney Spears of the world...I shouldn't have to elaborate any further with those examples. Then we have the Family that Preys & Prays. Lets not forget the family that alienates. I guess in the dictionary whether it's Merriam Webster or Dictionary.Com, the definition for these examples would be DYSFUNCTIONAL.
I think the family that Alienates does just as much damage as the drug addictions & infidelity if not more. When you start off in life experiencing family one way, adoring them and not wanting to trade your once known knowledge of family for anything in the world to always wondering 'Why?' you question yourself. Things like 'Why am I the last to know?' or 'What did I do to them to deserve this type of treatment?' or 'How come they no longer love me?'
It's a given that we all have a purpose. God gives and takes away. However it is sometimes difficult to comprehend that he removes people from our lives in order for us to grow. We need to nurture our seed and reap the benefits of new growth.
1- a basic social unit consisting of parents and children
2- any group of persons closely related by blood
3- all those considered descendants of a biologically related ancestor
The list goes on; but every one's view of family differs no matter how similar in meaning the dictionary determines.
What the dictionary does not provide detail on, is the FAMILY that just doesn't exist. Let me elaborate the ideal family, in my eyes only exists in fairy tales. Father, Mother, Sister(s), Brother(s), doting grandparents, aunts and uncles. Minor arguments between Mother & Father, nothing earth shattering. You have the dog, cat, picket fence, 2 cars or perhaps the mini van for the soccer mom, parents that show for all of their children's extra-curricular events, children graduate from high school go off to college and come home on their breaks to two parents still in love with each other and their childhood home is still serene.
Ah ha!! Let's get to the real deal. You have the 'Soul Food' family wherein family sleeps with another family members husband. Some of the family is quite affluent or they manage their money well while other members constantly have their hands out. Or you have the Osborne's, Whitney Houston/Bobby Browns, Lindsey Lohans & Brittney Spears of the world...I shouldn't have to elaborate any further with those examples. Then we have the Family that Preys & Prays. Lets not forget the family that alienates. I guess in the dictionary whether it's Merriam Webster or Dictionary.Com, the definition for these examples would be DYSFUNCTIONAL.
I think the family that Alienates does just as much damage as the drug addictions & infidelity if not more. When you start off in life experiencing family one way, adoring them and not wanting to trade your once known knowledge of family for anything in the world to always wondering 'Why?' you question yourself. Things like 'Why am I the last to know?' or 'What did I do to them to deserve this type of treatment?' or 'How come they no longer love me?'
It's a given that we all have a purpose. God gives and takes away. However it is sometimes difficult to comprehend that he removes people from our lives in order for us to grow. We need to nurture our seed and reap the benefits of new growth.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
The Faces of Rich
Ghetto Rich
Primarily invested in depreciating assets i.e. cars, clothes and jewelry.
Scenario 1:
Young woman receives 80k when her father passes away and blows every penny on clothes, high end purses and shoes. The mother criticizes her daughter; however quiet as its kept the mother acts in a similar fashion. The mother receives a substantial sum as well. She opted to donate her Grandam to charity, which is fine; however she turns around and almost in the same breath leaves her health care profession without notice(idiot move), purchases a BMW M3, then decides that wasn't enough so she purchases an additional vehicle. Only the current years Saleen Mustang, please note the sarcasm.
Okay, some may feel this isn't too extravagant. It is when you are living in section 8 housing. The money spent on the vehicles which lost a bit of their value as she drove them off the lot could have served as a sweet down payment on a home. Depending on the state it could have paid for the home in full. Bam! Investment made! I will recognize this woman for paying off the bills she had in collections. However in the end she was unable to maintain the vehicles. Couldn't afford the maintenance much less gas. Not once was their a thought to set aside funds for a rainy day. No savings, no 401k....nothing. Just the notion of robbing Peter to pay Paul. A lot of us do that anyway. That's just what we do. Not only that she was no longer able to continue in the health care arena and is currently employed part-time at Walmart. The vehicles had to be sold and the proceeds used to pay off outstanding liens.
Scenario2
The Entrepreneur also known as Hustle Man.
Hustle Man is doing big things. He walks around with the latest technology in his pocket but struggles to maintain active service. Why? Because Hustle Man doesn't have a job! He'll tell you he's self employed and about to blow up! He's about to purchase a McDonald's franchise in an area that already has one every 2 miles. In an economy such as we have they have already started closing quite a few.
Hustle Man recently acquired 2-3 million dollars. This was a legit acquisition. He's decided he needs a house. I agree. A home can be a sound investment. However why are you going to spend 1 million on a MONEY PIT? A home that needs repairs. Lots of repairs! You're trying to keep up with the 'Lil Wayne's, with ostentatious displays of your new found wealth. I can't give you the Jay Z status, because He is a Businessman. No where close to the Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, DuPont or the Rothschild families. Perhaps I should rank you with Mike Tyson, an entertaining fighter but not business savvy.
Nouveau Riche
Previously part of a lower socio economic rank
Scenario 3
The Goldsteins of America
Forgive me if the name strikes a nerve. It's the first name that came to mind for those that have worked for their wealth within the 20th-21st century. Those that have worked hard and knocked others out of the way in the process. Not caring about anyone but themselves. Feeling they are exempt from ALL normal policy and procedures and treating others like mere peasants. I can't even put you in the category of the Alec Baldwins, simmer down.
Scenario 4
The man/woman who marries into 'Old Money'. Business savvy, picking up the tricks of the trade from the family adding their own ideas and methods creating quite the empire. Aware of the life struggles that we as humans go through and always willing to assist others, quite the humanitarian/philanthropist. The one that you encounter and have absolutely NO idea that they have billions.
Rich in Spirit
Those that make ends meet the majority of the time without complaints. Not needing anything and if they do, their faith in God carries them through. You have a roof over your head, food on the table and love in your heart. You do what you can within your power to help others.
Primarily invested in depreciating assets i.e. cars, clothes and jewelry.
Scenario 1:
Young woman receives 80k when her father passes away and blows every penny on clothes, high end purses and shoes. The mother criticizes her daughter; however quiet as its kept the mother acts in a similar fashion. The mother receives a substantial sum as well. She opted to donate her Grandam to charity, which is fine; however she turns around and almost in the same breath leaves her health care profession without notice(idiot move), purchases a BMW M3, then decides that wasn't enough so she purchases an additional vehicle. Only the current years Saleen Mustang, please note the sarcasm.
Okay, some may feel this isn't too extravagant. It is when you are living in section 8 housing. The money spent on the vehicles which lost a bit of their value as she drove them off the lot could have served as a sweet down payment on a home. Depending on the state it could have paid for the home in full. Bam! Investment made! I will recognize this woman for paying off the bills she had in collections. However in the end she was unable to maintain the vehicles. Couldn't afford the maintenance much less gas. Not once was their a thought to set aside funds for a rainy day. No savings, no 401k....nothing. Just the notion of robbing Peter to pay Paul. A lot of us do that anyway. That's just what we do. Not only that she was no longer able to continue in the health care arena and is currently employed part-time at Walmart. The vehicles had to be sold and the proceeds used to pay off outstanding liens.
Scenario2
The Entrepreneur also known as Hustle Man.
Hustle Man is doing big things. He walks around with the latest technology in his pocket but struggles to maintain active service. Why? Because Hustle Man doesn't have a job! He'll tell you he's self employed and about to blow up! He's about to purchase a McDonald's franchise in an area that already has one every 2 miles. In an economy such as we have they have already started closing quite a few.
Hustle Man recently acquired 2-3 million dollars. This was a legit acquisition. He's decided he needs a house. I agree. A home can be a sound investment. However why are you going to spend 1 million on a MONEY PIT? A home that needs repairs. Lots of repairs! You're trying to keep up with the 'Lil Wayne's, with ostentatious displays of your new found wealth. I can't give you the Jay Z status, because He is a Businessman. No where close to the Rockefeller, Vanderbilt, DuPont or the Rothschild families. Perhaps I should rank you with Mike Tyson, an entertaining fighter but not business savvy.
Nouveau Riche
Previously part of a lower socio economic rank
Scenario 3
The Goldsteins of America
Forgive me if the name strikes a nerve. It's the first name that came to mind for those that have worked for their wealth within the 20th-21st century. Those that have worked hard and knocked others out of the way in the process. Not caring about anyone but themselves. Feeling they are exempt from ALL normal policy and procedures and treating others like mere peasants. I can't even put you in the category of the Alec Baldwins, simmer down.
Scenario 4
The man/woman who marries into 'Old Money'. Business savvy, picking up the tricks of the trade from the family adding their own ideas and methods creating quite the empire. Aware of the life struggles that we as humans go through and always willing to assist others, quite the humanitarian/philanthropist. The one that you encounter and have absolutely NO idea that they have billions.
Rich in Spirit
Those that make ends meet the majority of the time without complaints. Not needing anything and if they do, their faith in God carries them through. You have a roof over your head, food on the table and love in your heart. You do what you can within your power to help others.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Friends v Frenemies
Do friends hurt relationships?
Do friends have our best interest at heart?
In new relationships do we cast our FRIENDS aside to appease our NEW significant?
In my observations I have noticed, when two individuals are NEW in their relationship they tend to ignore outside elements further known as friends. Is this proper? That may come with a 50/50 answer. Some may find that there is nothing wrong with it; others may feel you should not alienate your friends. I am inclined to not alienate the friend whether male or female. True friends are in your life and heart no matter what. The friends were there first essentially and are an extension of you. Understanding, that should things progress with you and the significant, the significant will also then be a part of you. Said friend will also understand the need to place a limitation on the amount of time spent without any loss of identity on your behalf.
Friends that have been around forever so to speak may genuinely care; however you may find an interest that far surpasses that of a Platonic relationship. When that is discovered are you prepared to handle it? You may also find the long time friend trying to advise you of what's right and wrong in your NEW relationship based upon their past experiences. Would this information be noteworthy? Food for thought. It's possible it may be noteworthy; however everyone's reactions to actions are different. That friend's adverse experience could be the very thing that makes your toes curl placing you on cloud nine and that wonderful feeling of ecstasy your friend experienced, may be the very thing that makes you want to regurgitate.
The long time friend crossing the Platonic Relationship Boundaries could have very well been a great friend, that turns(ed) lethal. Should your time be consumed with your significant other and you alienate the long term friend you may find when you finally reach out to them, you're in hostile territory. Your friend has been hurt and may blatantly try to destroy your relationship if allowed. It's juvenile I know, but it happens. We must keep in mind the friends heart typically wants what the heart wants. Over ruling what is essentially right.
In a nutshell, Yes, friends can and do hurt relationships if we are not careful, even if we know in our heart of hearts that they have our best interest in mind. When the boundaries are crossed and the hurt occurs our friend becomes our frenemy.
Do friends have our best interest at heart?
In new relationships do we cast our FRIENDS aside to appease our NEW significant?
In my observations I have noticed, when two individuals are NEW in their relationship they tend to ignore outside elements further known as friends. Is this proper? That may come with a 50/50 answer. Some may find that there is nothing wrong with it; others may feel you should not alienate your friends. I am inclined to not alienate the friend whether male or female. True friends are in your life and heart no matter what. The friends were there first essentially and are an extension of you. Understanding, that should things progress with you and the significant, the significant will also then be a part of you. Said friend will also understand the need to place a limitation on the amount of time spent without any loss of identity on your behalf.
Friends that have been around forever so to speak may genuinely care; however you may find an interest that far surpasses that of a Platonic relationship. When that is discovered are you prepared to handle it? You may also find the long time friend trying to advise you of what's right and wrong in your NEW relationship based upon their past experiences. Would this information be noteworthy? Food for thought. It's possible it may be noteworthy; however everyone's reactions to actions are different. That friend's adverse experience could be the very thing that makes your toes curl placing you on cloud nine and that wonderful feeling of ecstasy your friend experienced, may be the very thing that makes you want to regurgitate.
The long time friend crossing the Platonic Relationship Boundaries could have very well been a great friend, that turns(ed) lethal. Should your time be consumed with your significant other and you alienate the long term friend you may find when you finally reach out to them, you're in hostile territory. Your friend has been hurt and may blatantly try to destroy your relationship if allowed. It's juvenile I know, but it happens. We must keep in mind the friends heart typically wants what the heart wants. Over ruling what is essentially right.
In a nutshell, Yes, friends can and do hurt relationships if we are not careful, even if we know in our heart of hearts that they have our best interest in mind. When the boundaries are crossed and the hurt occurs our friend becomes our frenemy.
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