The One, Twin Flame

Shaking the dust from my pen. There have been a number of events  to take place of late and my observations and thoughts bring me to topics of  Kindred Spirits, Soul Mates or Twin Flames. 

 

Rekindling a friendship or relationship of old is much like a homecoming or another entrance into a world that is uncharted.  It is a world of recognition and love deep within two spirits.  You as an individual or a couple know the other is THE ONE that has always been by the other's side mentally and spiritually.  You're able to feel the others emotions worlds away, emotions which have been locked away and the key kept within the realms of the unknown until that moment of acknowledgment comes into play.

 

Upon that chance meeting or contact there is an instantaneous spark of emotion some of which cannot be contained. Your world then becomes their world and theirs becomes yours. The flood of love, want and need of the other cannot be quelled. You are then the TWIN FLAME, THE ONE that complements the very essence of the other. Anyone in your life at this time may fall short of all you thought they were and wanted them to be.  Why? They were not exactly YOUR TRUE LOVE, YOUR BELOVED.  They are not your twin soul.  Twin souls recognize each other with absolute certainty and complete each other, no other person in the world can complete them...its the Perfect Fusion, Oneness. 

 

An ascension of souls. When reunited the ascension is jet-propelled. A quiet storm evolving into an eternity of breath taking bliss. You are unable to edit your thoughts, your twin flame is and always has been the best part of you.  

 

~~Skin I'm In~~

Sheila E - Hold Me (Album Version with Lyrics)

Happiness v. Joy

This post is a simplistic one. 

 

Had an encounter with a friend whom I adore. Their life in the last four years has been one of turmoil.  Custody battles, divorce, foreclosure, employment changes, etc.  Our conversations though brief tend to be uplifting.  Our most recent conversation revolved around the difference between happiness and joy.

 

Most would equate the two to be one in the same; however there IS a difference.

 

Happiness, per the dictionary; pleasure contentment.

Joy, per the dictionary; emotion of great delight.

 

If we look further you will find that so many things bring us happiness:  A new job, buying a house, the return of a loved one from war, a great tax return...the list goes on.  Happiness is based upon things outside of ourselves.  The very things that bring forth happiness can also bring sadness.  Happiness is fleeting.

 

JOY, the emotion of great delight...is it really?  Joy is an attitude of the heart! An everlasting attitude not dependent on circumstance.  It is eternal NOT fleeting.

 

There may be some that disagree, however this post is to evoke thought not controversy.

 

~~Skin I'm In~~

Black Women, The Unknown, The Truth

I read a post from someone whom I am enamored with the content of his tweets.  This post revolved around barbershop talk and read "Black Women spend a lot of time pretending that everything is okay and suppressing entirely too much....praising their troubles instead of acknowledging their toxicity." ~~I AM~~

My notebook an infinite canvas of thought. However only a few have made their way to this page.

Oftentimes as black women we carry ourselves with determination and a convincing sense of being extraordinary or exceptional. This is regardless of the treatment received from others.  Some may say that we are accomplished however if an in depth view is taken, we have yet to conquer ourselves.  We are seen with an 'S' stamped on our chest, underneath the flirty dresses, boardroom suits, dress blues and scrubs.  Is this 'S' for Superwoman/Strength/Independence? Possibly.  Our strength has been galvanized with a coat of armor, shielding us from the pain and deprivation of an authentic and joyful life.  In short we are portrayed as a capable person, someone who can reliably provide for others emotionally and financially. Such virtues leave you with a set of irrevocable oppositions out of which we live our lives.  We struggle with being both strong and having needs of our own.  Wherein lies the dilemma of strength....to choose the appearances and remain unknown or choose TRUTH and risk being disregarded by others.  We often choose the Unknown.

The Unknown---Media stereotypes of black women-the angry black activist; the promiscuous unwed mother, the take no-shit, more man than woman black bi@!* accused of being both unfeminine and oversexed at the same time.

The Truth - It is 'OKAY' for things not to be OKAY.  It is OKAY not to fall prey to the one dimensional view. We do not have to invest our lives in the appearance of invulnerability. We as Black Women, We as Women, ARE EXTRAORDINARY AND EXCEPTIONAL.

~~Skin I'm In~~

The Smell Of Nostalgia

As I embrace the brief time spent with family so many childhood memories come to the surface.  I grew up so very blessed.  I may not have had designer clothes, shoes or the white picket fence, but I did have family that loved me and I them. 

A lot of us have moved away from where we grew up, but the memories whether good or bad do not move away.

Eureka Park was my back yard. The cut through to get to the homes of a few friends as well as going to the homes of my Aunt's, Uncle's and Grandparent's.  Eureka Park the place where summer camp took on new shapes.  The Rec Center where I first busted my butt trying to roller skate. Chain link swing sets and hard core merry go rounds.  Tennis courts and those weekends when you heard church revival.

Climbing the Cherry Tree at my Grandparents house, hanging out in their basement.  As a child the basement presented so many adventures as my grandparents kept so many things for me to get into. Sliding down the steps, the railing didn't work in my favor. My Grandma's Rice Pudding...umph..the best! And the Pantry you could hide in if you tried.

Hot Summer Days at Washington Park Pool cutting through the path off of 10th street behind Addison.....All I can hear..."Cutie Pie,You're The Reason Why.  I love you so.....".  Matter of fact so many songs of summer...."Party People, Party People......Socialize, Get Down, Let Your Soul Lead The Way....", "Jamaica Funk is what it is....Let it get into you", "Thighs High, I Wanna Grip Your Hips and Move".  Racing friends and relatives up and down the street.  Truly don't get caught by the street light.

So many places and things evoke so many memories. Lakeside Amusement Park, Woolworths Downtown Roanoke, Pete's Deli, New Yorker Delicatessen(of course), Mill Mountain Zoo & Ruby, 8th Street Grill( got to have a hot smoke), Chuck's Seafood, Highs Ice Cream, the dances at Booker T.  Sweetheart Ball's at Ruffner,  Talent Shows as Fleming, Fairystone, Claytor's Lake, Carvin's Cove....oooohhh M.D.20/20, Thunderbird(thank you Franwill Crew, you know who you are) and Mr. Perry's Store just to name a few. Keeping it really simple, waking up on the weekends knowing there were some things that didn't and wouldn't change.  Errands with Mom, Saturday Mornings and Church All Day Sunday!

Many may not be familiar with the scent of where I'm steppin' others of course know the fragrance well. 

The Smell Of Nostalgia keeps the memories so vivid.  Peace.

~~Skin I'm In~~

Control

When you are in a relationship or what is deemed to be a relatioship it should not be treated as a dictatorship by either party.  There are qualities in each that should compliment the other.  Unfortunately sometimes we are unable to find that grassy median. 

Something to ask yourself about your partner.  Do they help you to live a better and healthier life?  Be clear on your thoughts before you answer.  What you may think, are the intentions that have love screaming from all angles, could very well be an unintentional deceptive schemer. 

 

 

Two Types of Relationship Controllers

 

The violent and physically abusive and the caring, sensitive one whom controls you emotionally.  The latter is not always the obvious one. They do not necessarily dominate you, but will still find a way to cut your legs out from under you.  Don't be mistaken or caught off guard.  Both types can be rolled up into one person.  Scary I know. 

 

You may never know you are with an emotionally controlling person until it's too late.  You can be easily deceived as they are not bad people.  They have insecurities and are generally possessive, forgetting where to draw the line or creating their own for you.  

 

A Few Signs To Watch Out For

 

They need to be informed of all you do.  They may become agitated if you don't check in to their specifications.  They will blow that cell phone up if you don't respond quick enough.  Back in the day it would have been a 911 page.

 

They don't like it when you have fun without them.  You may want to discuss your activities and how wonderful they were and you will be addressed with perhaps a grunt or "That's Nice"

 

They are manipulative. Constantly trying to make decisions for you.  Choosing what they want you to eat while out at dinner.  "He/She will have the Escargot drizzled with a White Wine Sauce,  Asparagus Spears and Wild Rice".  You cringe because you know at this very moment you would much rather be at Five Guys getting that juicy hamburger drenched in green peppers, onions, mushrooms, cheese and a hint of grease.  

 

They create their own rules while imposing completely different rules upon you.  We all know a household that plays Spades has their own House Rules.

 

They disapprove when you spend time with friends.  Your friends are a bad influence on you and they want to choose your friends for you or even be your one and only friend.  "If you play with Suzy I'm not playing with you anymore.  Suzy has the cooties".

 

Your life now revolves around them or so you think.  Their happiness becomes yours, their wants become yours.  Your identity has become non-existent.

 

I may have made light of these signs; however these signs are reality.  And the reality is..Relationships shouldn't change who you are as a person.  Only you should be able to change you.  The relationship should provide you with an added path that leads you to additional growth.





~~~Skin I'm In~~~

 

Eyes Of Knowing

This isn't so much an eloquent piece, but it is nonetheless thoughts within.


When you as a friend, an innocent by stander, family member or just a lover of mankind are exposed to others that may be experiencing their world being turned upside down, you are typically one that will go out of your way to offer assistance. Providing whatever charitable donations you are able to give for the cause. You extend a hand to help in the time of need or you are there to just listen and offer support. When your friend or family member etc tells you that they have a terminal illness, whether it be any form of cancer, a rare disease or even an incurable disease your heart goes out to them. I can speak for myself and wish that I could act as John Coffee did in the Green Mile and remove their illness with a touch. I know I'm not God, nor have I been granted any healing powers but I do wish sometimes I was able to help so many in need.


The tables turn and WOW instead of you receiving that dreadful news about a loved one, you receive THAT news about you possibly having cancer or you have been diagnosed with an incurable disease. The waves of emotions flooding your very being. Emotions are greedy little suckers. They take you and beat you down like you stole something, then they have the nerve to ask "Is that ALL you've got?" One part of you wants to say 'yes' another part sits in limbo trying to absorb what has just occurred. Asking the questions, How?, Why?, Why Me?, What did I do to deserve this? Or thoughts of "This doesn't run in my family". The list grows and the answers seem out of reach.


Day 1 through as many as it takes. Appointment after appointment. The poking and prodding with needles, answering the same questions over and over. Then trying to deal with scheduling time off from work without the entire company knowing your business. Hiding the tears from those closest to you. Especially when you have set this precedence of being 'The Rock'. But all you want to do is crawl into a ball in the corner and cry. Its funny you have to schedule times to cry. Shower seems to work best. The thought of the illness is chipping away at what you thought to be 'you'. You feel you are no longer the POSITIVE FORCE. However you are trying to excercise your faith, but as humans yes we falter at times. We are continued works in progress.


With emotions still running rampant, you wish like hell there would be a definitive answer just as quickly as the issue was found. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. We need to run more test. We need to schedule surgery,(please have someone with you for support) then we have to run more test. Draw more blood, obtaining a complete CBC(complete blood count). We should know something in 5 - 10 days. We need a second & third opinion just to be sure your test results are not a false positive. What the hell is a false positive? We're sorry but Dr. So n So is on vacation for the entire month of October; however we do have another associate, Dr. Quackenstein, whom is new to the practice if you would like to consult with them.


The day of knowing. As it would stand you want someone with you during the time of knowing. THAT day is finally here. A day of celebration and/or acceptance. You have already mentally prepared yourself for either answer. If its necessary to use a cane and a walker. It's going to be a fashionable one. May have to invest in one to coordinate with the outfits...got to coordinate. If chemo is necessary...short hair has been maintained for at least 20 years now. If the hair has to be a little shorter, it will be an added fashion statement. Short hair rocks people. We are not our hair.


Do not perceive my above statements as being non-caring or viewing these things lightly. It is me still remaining positive, that ROCK, though part of me has been chipped away. I'm still here with others to speak on it as well. For this I am grateful to GOD and those around me whom are constant mountains of love and stability. For those that have already transitioned their testimony should still be fresh in our minds and hearts, we just need to view the bigger picture.


I guess in this entry I just want to share that we need to stop the bickering amongst family and friends. Enjoy those that make you happy, accept those that don't because we are all God's children. We know not the time nor the hour. What we should keep in mind always is that each of us has a purpose. A purpose not always defined by books or what knowledge we THINK we have. You can't spend your every waking hour trying to please and live how you think others would have you to or in fear of what others may think. The choice and opportunity is yours. You just have to want it, acknowledge it, allow it to work for you and you for it.


For all(men & women) please make sure you obtain your yearly check ups. Men...its better to get that cough out of the way now instead of waiting until its too late. Ladies...self breast exams and Mammograms a MUST. We have to know our bodies and be aware of when things don't seem quite right. Overcome the fear of knowing. Not knowing not only hurts you, but those around you.


Skin I'm In