When Is It Too Soon? Who Determines The Time In Which We Mourn?

When we have friends, spouses or family members diagnosed with a terminal illness are we prepared for everything that goes along with it? The time, the support, the love, the mental state of our friend, family member or spouse? Of course not.  I don't think anyone is fully prepared.

The reactions of all are so unpredictable. Are some of our reactions warranted?  Maybe, maybe not.  Personally I'm 50/50 on the issue.  There is no clearly defined path.

I reflect over the past 12 years in which my neighbors shared a part of my heart.  Shirley, given less than 5 years to live after a lung transplant,  outlived the odds.  She maintained and prepared her family as much as she could for things to come, as God prepared her for her journey.  December 16, 2010 we Celebrated Shirley's Life. No more pain, her spirit soaring high. Her family....feeling lost and alone, because their rock had to move on.  I watched her husband stagger to his feet as they closed her coffin, sobs to be heard outside of the sanctuary it seemed.   There was no doubt that Sam loved his wife.  No doubt that Sam was in love with his wife. The knowledge of his love for Shirley was not enough to prepare someone looking from the outside in for the sequence of events that occurred.  

Six months after Shirley was laid to rest another woman introduces herself as Sam's ex-wife and is now living with Sam.  The initial reaction on my part was a bit of anger encompassed by Whys, Hows and Blank Stares.   My anger subsided rather quickly. Why? Because I have not walked in Sam's footprint.  I cant say that I fully understand the pain he felt losing his wife to a well fought fight.  

A number of questions fall into play. These questions may not  exactly fit this scenario, but they are questions to think about nonetheless.   Was the relationship coming to a close prior to the diagnosis? Was the surviving spouse there to the end as support? Was there a decision made between the two, for the other to move on with their life as quickly as possible? We as the outsiders looking in truly do not know. Another thought, no matter how CLOSE we consider ourselves to be to any one person, no matter how much we THINK we know about any one person, we ONLY KNOW what they want us to know. I'm not discrediting the friendship wherein there is the feeling that we have been privy to most things, but it is what it is.  

It's human nature to hurt and ask why as a friend and on the behalf of the deceased. It's human nature to feel betrayed and feel as though the deceased has been betrayed. The feeling of betrayal cutting you so deep, I get it.  However I've had to ask myself on more than one occasion 'Are these actions, feelings and reactions in line with God's way?'.  It's actually a simple answer; yet an internal challenge.  

We are works in progress, we can't determine what time frame is or is not proper for grieving. It's in God's hands.

Positive Movement Forward

Everything in life is a process in motion.
Without movement & progression, there is no life.
As long as you are full of life and living, you are headed somewhere.
It's up to you to decide where you are going. 
It's up to you to enjoy yourself along the way.
It's up to you to Activate that progression with positive movement forward.

A small saga to be heard

A young girl, dreaming of being a bird

Living a life

Deprived of strength and vitality

Eager to learn and to do what's right

Owning the hardship of caring for two

Options to abandon, would not do

A burning desire to go far

Escaping only while the door is ajar

Soaring above the emotional traffic jam in her heart

Only returning to extinguish the pain and

Encourage others to do their part
An empty nest would not be left
As mother placed her duties, atop a shelf
Freedom found
Heaven Bound

Men, Women, Friends

The phrase "There is someone for everyone.", brings thoughts to mind. 

When you have a man and a woman who have been engaged in a long term friendship, is it right to cross the line?  Do you cross the line?

You complete each others sentences, you mirror the others soul.  You are struck by the thought of never having a love that makes you 'Breathless'.  As friends neither of you are completely oblivious to the chemistry that emits from a simple touch.  The energy that escapes is visible to outsiders.  Do you continue to torture your being or do you allow your eyes to speak with the rhythm of your heart? Act on it; try it on for size. 

My thought; communication is key.  Discuss your feelings before its too late or others are involved.  You are of course friends, you should be able to talk about anything.  You don't want an endless war of the heart. 

Clouds That Carry The Rain

Hide The Sun

The Days Turn From Green to Brown

Bringing About Cool Nights and
Autumn Sounds



Transgender or Scantily Clad?

Which is more socially acceptable a scantily clad female bumping and grinding on national television or someone who has undergone gender reassignment?

Both receive quite a bit of criticism. It amazes me how in the 21st century, so many are such hypocrites.  Listening to excerpts of a few shows, it appears that the Dancing With The Stars viewers may boycott watching the show because Chaz Bono, 'Transgender', will be a dancer on dancing with the stars.  We have parents that speak of this no longer being a family show and they will not allow their children to watch it.  Why? Because YOU the parent are teaching your child to not treat everyone equally?  Without you as a parent advising your children that dancer so & so was born a female, how would the children know? Don't get it twisted, I am fully aware of children obtaining the information by other means, but most things begin in the home or should anyway.   

What's more damaging to a child's view, watching a man dancing across the stage or a female dressed with a smidgen more than pasties and a thong on gyrating across the stage? Humph, I would think the latter.  That's my opinion and I stand by it.

If you have opted to boycott the show, so be it.  You truly don't have to watch it, I'm sure there will be OTHERS that continue to boost DWTS's ratings when you are long gone.  OTHERS, that aren't living in primitive times and choose to accept others for the choices they have made instead of condemning them. 

The mindset of todays society is bound by a learned external power....Racism!

Church or Chutch

Just a small minute since my last post.  A number of thoughts dancing through my mind one of which involves the church.  Yes that's right, Church.

I spent a number of years attending a Pentecostal Church.  Spending every Sunday without fail in Sunday School, Morning & Evening Service and sometimes afternoon programs as well.  Morning service lasting 'til 1:30-2:00 p.m., allowing you enough time to run home or to a nearby restaurant to grab a bite to eat before you were back by 3:00 or 4:00 depending upon what time the afternoon service started.  Those were the days when you were awakened to the sounds of James Cleveland, the smell of fried chicken for dinner, sausage for breakfast and maybe even some pancakes to go alongside that sausage. 

It's funny how times have changed.  We have churches that have more than one morning service to accommodate the growing congregations.  That one service at 7:45 a.m. which I choose to attend as I am an early bird which is considered 'The Hour of Power'.  No frills with this service unlike the regularly scheduled morning service at 10:30 a.m. It may only be an hour to an hour and a half, but I come away feeling like a freshly picked Georgia Peach, full of nutrients and freshness.  Now to me that's Church. 

Now let's tap into what would seemingly be the difference between Church and Chutch.  Some might say Church is where you have spent your time being filled with the Spirit, learned about His Greatness and heard a Joyful Noise from the Choir.  You have left feeling as I, the Georgia Peach, refreshed, renewed and Truly Blessed.  The Presence of the Lord is Here!

Chutch on the other hand  is attended by those trying to see what Fly suit Pastor  is adorned in.  Where Sister So & So is calling for a $2000-$5000 offerin' because Pastor chose to drive the Bentley and obtained a rock chip in his paint job and that same rock put a nick in his windshield.  Pastor has made it known that he now regrets driving the Bentley and should have driven the Escalade instead.  When you attend a Mega Chutch do you come away feeling nourished or just broke as you support your Pastor's High Standard of living?  I'm just sayin', food for thought.

Please do not think that these individuals are unable to provide you with the Word, because I am sure they are.  But are they actually Led by God, are they truly Anointed in their delivery?  

Humph...I know what my thoughts are, what are yours?  I am not a person to quote scriptures but I am a firm believer in God and his work.  And through my belief I am not inclined to believe that his work involves the million dollar home, with the vehicles to match and the suits not far from the same.  

So if you spend more preparation in trying to determine what label is in the back of Sister Sally's or Brother Harry's suit or the square footage of Deacon Joe's home one would conclude that you have not spent enough time preparing to receive the Word of God.